5 Reasons why it sucks to live in my house:

1) Papers/worksheets regardless of importance will be transformed into paper carriers for bone disposals every 12 hours by the illiterate (although one of them dropped outta college) maids. Occasionally, their stupidity rises beyond a turkey and they TORE MY SEC 4 SS SKILLS PRACTICE BOOK (wtf -_-ll)

2) During festive seasons, such as the hazy moon cake festivals, ( my house is clamped between two major condos, my neighbour's a PM for ang mo kio, meaning he's in lee hsien long's party =O), people would often pop their heads out and stare at us enjoying the festivities barbequeing in the garden, or simply just drinking tea and eating moon cake

3) My house is like a battlefield between armies of ancient china. Just imagine those chinese soap operas with their power mongering family members trying to vive for teh throne. But not that exaggerating la, just a bit of trifle here and there, but constant. Normally it all sparks when the Dowager (grandmother) pisses off my aunt, my aunt starts screaming to piss off most of us. Normally she screams at my Dad, then my Mum rub salt to the wound by suaning my grandmother (my grandmother is DESPISED, HATED, ABHORED, LOATHED by all the daughter in laws), then my Dad get very vexed. When it comes to conflicts, it is always the children who get hurt, the maids will then be scolded due to my parent's graumpiness, then the maids would get a 20% reduction in efficiency and tend to mess up our stuff or fold my papers to paper disposal bags.

4) Consistency in being plagued by kids trying to earn a quick buck by scamming us. You guys know that uncle that sells $1.o0 ice cream between pieces of bread or biscuit? My mom buys it somewhere at joo chiat for $2.00 a box (of icecream, 1 box can sustain 4~5 biscuit) Those kids? Oh, they just sell for EIGHT BUCKS PER BOX. My jaws dropped when i first heard the price, my tone thus turned unfriendly:

Uni: Ain't those the kinds of ice cream people normally vendor?
Kid: Ya, very nice hor? Only Eight dollars per box, i give you biscuits for it.
Uni: But your Eight dollars per box, i can buy 8 of that ice cream, and got twice the amount of ice cream somemore -_-
Kid: Aiya, can keep mah, you buy that 8 ice cream, your ice cream can bring home to keep meh?
Uni: (wah, damn good sia, like that also can) But my those are only $2.00 per box from joo chiat wholesale -_-
Kid: Wah lao, BU YAO GAO HWAI HANG QING LEH (don't spoil the economy) what $2.00, i run here and there no need $? Okay la, special price, $6...

-Thats the part about me, despite having ZERO interest in buying, i still talk crap to that guy -_-

5) According to the newspaper, most shameless beggars who were well off seem to beg from a rather well-off muslim dominated housing area: Kembangan. About 2 hours ago, a phillipino (who is anything but malay in her trendy outfit) tried to pull off as a charity sponge cake seller instead of going to houses and screaming,"ZAKAT!" I chased her off, no, not the mean with a hose way, but with the logical way:

Fraud: Aye, do some charity please, i'm selling these cakes for $5 each for charity.

Uni's interpretion: Aye, do some charity (FOR ME PLEASE), i'm selling these (TASTELESS AND PERHAPS HYGENIC CAKE THAT HAS MY SWEAT AND BLOOD -literally- IN IT) cakes for $5 (ONLY 1/100 OF MY SHOPPING SPREE AT LUCKY PLAZA) only.

Uni: Hmm, do you have a license?

Fraud: License?

Uni: Ya, license, to sell cake for charity. Aiyo, if you don't have hor, people will think you trying to cheat people money sia. You're not one of those lazy, devious people that only know how to live off other's sympathy and not work right? You do charity mah...

Fraud: Oh yeah, i forgot to bring la, aye nvm..

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But i still paid 5 bucks for the cake. There might be a chance that it IS for charity and i'm being a meanie to the volunteers =l


Viola, ze cake. I think its banana sponge cake with banana on top and sugar frostings.