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Depression just overcame me...don't know why, don't want to know... Feeling lethargic the whole day, the guys around my area also found me abnormally quiet today...Life's meaningless anyway, just looking at the days ahead just craps me out. Piles and piles of homeowork towers over us and handed back to us unmarked/self marked/ or even handed in so late. Miss lam's really annoying today, Zzz, knowing that we have work to do with the maths teacher, she actually extended the lesson to 3 periods leaving us 1 period to do around 6+ loci sums. Like wth, now we have extra homework, this is downright unfair. LFL's no better, we hand in her demanding homework and NEVER received a decently marked one. The only difference on the essay is either criticism or just one pathetic tick to decorate the paper. She gives tight deadlines, leaves herself plenty of time to mark. Frankly I'm losing myself, I don't see where I'm going at all, my head's a blank screen when they teach, I can't absorb. Why must the education system be so tight? Day by day, remedials follow one after another, less time to do homework they still give somemore...Whats more after mid year the remedial sessions are gonna be extended to 4 pm. To hell with remedials, the smart doesn't need to really study, neither does it help the mediocore much. Don't know about others, but I'm dead tired after remedials and after the tuitions after the remedials. Headstart tests were nothing but LIES, LIES and more LIES. They don't make a difference, even if you score an A you still go for remedial, even if i studied for biology headstart, they took my final examination results and put me in the 2nd science class for remedials. Its so inconvenient, everytime I need something i realise i left it in my own classroom.

They say we must be thankful for what we have, running electricity, running water, convenience of urban life? But didn't we exchanged all these with our childhood. A childhood I barely experienced. With all the science formulas, maths formula and memory work we have to do as students, I can't remember my past, what I did, what I used to do when I was a kid ignorant about the stresses of daily life. In fact, I think part of myself just died. Died and replaced by all these "useful" knowledge that we barely get to use in real life. If we live to survive and to suffer more, why live? Shouldn't one live life to the fullest? To his/her own? Wrong, how can one do that? It's just not logical.

Maybe I'm just mentally weak, breaking down and succumbing to pressure. Depression, maybe thats what gotten into me. Or issit the reality hitting on my materialistic side?